Art and how it affects my life

After divorcing my ex-wife, I met my current girlfriend. Her drive in life is largely determined by art. Whenever she comes in contact with any kind of art, she explodes in a ball of energy that inevitably carries you along. And I love it to get infected by this energy, too. Sometimes we sit together in a room, doing our own stuff... she's drawing, I'm working. But sometimes I put my work aside, pick up my iPad, start drawing and then it happens... I swim through the waves of creative energy along with her.

It's such an impressive feeling, when the world around me slowly fades away and only me and my drawing still seem to exist. And after some hours I "wake up" from that trance, looking at the screen and think: "Wow, I created that?" This feeling is so unique and yet it also brings back memories of my childhood every time. Because as a child I loved to draw. However, in the course of my career in the IT industry, I stopped creating fine art. It's not that I had no connection to art anymore. I discovered art in software design, and the unfussy beauty of mathematics always excited me. And yet it's something else to paint pictures.

Interestingly, I have also reconnected with my children through art on a deeper level. They enjoy it when they can be with me and my girlfriend and paint pictures. And I enjoy it, when I see their colorful drawings, which give me a deeper insight into their world. 

It's so impressive to see how much magic is in their view of the world. And that, in turn, makes me rediscover the magic in my world. For a long time I was looking for the magic in myself. I worked with different magical systems, like Enochian Magic, the system of the Order of the Golden Dawn, with Chaos Magick, Tantra, Ice Magick and many more. But it took art as a key to realize that magic is actually all around me. And with this discovery, I also found many things again that I had already lost in my childhood. I rediscovered the beauty of nature and discovered natural mathematical logic. I learned (again) not only to see people, but also to feel them. And I also realized that it is my connection with this world that makes the real magic possible. Suddenly, many things from Chaos Magic and what is commonly called Tantra (I don't like this term because it was and is quite abused by the New Age movement) finally made sense.

And suddenly I'm living in a whole new world. My relationship works, not always without conflict, but always with the possibility of solving these conflicts together. With my children I have a connection like I never had before, although I can no longer live with them (but I see them every day). I enjoy my job again. And many things that I used to see as a problem, don’t affect me that much any longer.

I can therefore only advise everyone to open up to art when they find themselves in a situation where there seems to be no way forward and no way back. Art can be a key to look at the world from new angles and find new ways.


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